Painful exit: The key man finally gave up R.I.P brother

In a 97-year-old fan’s obituary, Iowa’s offence catches a brutal stray.

Despite an anaemic offence that has been the object of much ridicule in recent seasons, Iowa’s football team now has a 6-2 record. The Hawkeyes need all the support they can get on that side of the ball, and the family of a deceased fan used her obituary to give them some good wishes.

The Iowa Hawkeyes haven’t lost a game since the 2012 season, but they can mostly owe their success on their defence since Brian Ferentz (son of longtime coach Kirk Ferentz) took over as offensive coordinator in 2017.

The Hawkeyes averaged 17.7 points per game in 2022, and prior to the start of the current college football season, the younger Ferentz signed a new contract with a peculiar clause that the team needed to average at least 25 if he wanted to keep his position.

Unfortunately, that didn’t work in Iowa City, and while the Hawkeyes have already punched their bowl ticket (and are still in contention to represent their conference in the Big Ten Championship Game), Ferentz said he’ll be stepping down at the conclusion of the season.

Plenty of Iowa fans are understandably frustrated with the current state of affairs, and it would appear that included Dr. B Eleanor Anstey, who passed away at the age of 97 on October 25th.

While Anstey asked for a brief obituary, her family wrote a touching homage with a funny concluding sentence that reads:

“In lieu of flowers please make a donation to a charity of your choice or simply say a prayer for the Iowa Hawkeyes offence on her behalf.”

Based on what has happened thus far, the offence will require supernatural intervention to reverse course, so the request won’t harm.

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